The things I worry about #1 Back in the Windy City after a hectic weekend in London. Heavy drinking is a sure fire way to avoid jet lag it has to be said.

I have been thinking about a lot of stuff in the last week, these are some of the things that have crossed my mind:

1) Why are Americans so stupid? For example I have a St George on my office door (yes I have an office, don't have a clue why, but this accent of mine gets you everywhere) mainly because when I joined I noticed that everyone else in the office has the Stars & Stripes on his or her cube or office - this goes back to 9/11 when they stuck the American flag on everything in a show of Patriotism. So, my office had nothing on it, I was new and I like to make an impression so I printed off the English flag and put it up.

Well in the past 8 months it has been cause for quite some debate. The most popular assumption is that it is the first aid room (red cross you see?), but I have also had it called the Swiss flag, European flag (?!), Danish flag and the Swedish Flag (I know, not an inch of red or white on it!). Plus many, many puzzled faces. Not one person - American person that is - has managed to call it correctly. Mostly I get told that they thought the English flag was that one with the red, blue & white crosses on?

Early last week I had a client in to see me - Johnny big b0ll0cks, thought he knew it all (he was quite switched on to be fair), we spent 30 minutes together, me mainly joining him in listening to the sound of his voice. Then we got up to leave for lunch and I saw him glance at my flag "Are you Swiss then?" he said.

2) Where do all these Henman fans come from? Do they know how stupid they look? Our Timmy does not lose because he is crap, he loses out of sheer embarrassment. I think the All England Club should consider flattening Henman Hill because they cause more embarrassment to sports fans than our English football supporters on tour!

3) I saw some of the weekend papers at home and there was mention of a Channel 4 doc earlier in the week called Little Lady Fauntleroy. Now let me tell you that that James Harries kid used to scare the bloody beejezus out of me. I remember watching this so called "child prodigy" on Wogan in the early 90's and I used to worry what the planet had done wrong to have him born onto it. Well apparently James is now a ditzy blonde called Lauren after being convinced by his fcuked up parents that he should have a "gender reassignment" operation! Now, I thought Americans were mad!  ¶ 21:15