England's national team - no freakin' interest, that's me. For $20 on Saturday during the middle of the day I could have gone to the pub and watched the best the country has to offer and Phil Neville, take on the might of Israel, their football team not their army, but frankly I would have rather stuck cocktail sticks in my eyes.
So shock, horror then that second-choice Stevie, with the glued-on hair is not good enough but not to worry he's only got a 4-year contract, so plenty of time for The Sun
to transpose his face onto some root vegetables. Of course second-choice Stevie, in using all his masterly psycho-gabble techniques, is trying to convince us that we played well:"We dominated possession, we had 17 chances - nine of them on target - and on another day we'd have won it comfortably two or three nil."
Of course Steve, just like Frank Lampard is world class and Phil Neville's middle name is not Neville.
Us Addicks were of course more than happy that Luke Young and Scott Carson didn't have to waste any energy on Saturday, although I'm sure Carson would have wondered why he was stuck in the stands instead of playing in the Wembley U21 opener.
Andorra up next on Wednesday, whose 1,299 capacity national stadium was considered not big enough for English journo's and books on root vegetables, so it's to be played 3-hours away at Espanyol's ground
instead. Yep, you got it NFI, I will be putting my socks into pairs instead.