My head hasn't been in a good place this week. On Monday I found out that my son's best friend's Mother had committed suicide Sunday night. My ex-wife found her lying on her bed with a bin-liner over her head attached to a gas cylinder. She had conveniently left the back door open and ten minutes later it would have been my son and his best friend who would have walked in on the appalling scene.
The boy was who I took with my son for his 10th birthday to Go Ape
a week or so ago and bloody hell he was the nicest kid you could ever meet. How a mother could make a decision to leave a 10-year old all alone in this world is inconceivable at least to me.
Since Sunday night my son has been distraught. His friend was whisked away with his father to where he lives in Milton Keynes and as far as my son is concerned his little mate, who are like brothers, has vanished from the planet. A 10-year old can understand death and it's reasons but not a young woman to whom he looked up to and spent a lot of time with, killing herself. Our phone calls have been very distressing and I seemingly have no one able to wrap their fatherly arms around him on my behalf.
In my other life my daughter started nursery today as my downcast-other-half went back to work after 4 months. Bermuda is surely one of the easiest countries to live in with both parents working (the nursery is 5 minutes walk away from both of our offices and on a good day a 10 minute drive from home) but nonetheless this morning's startled look from my daughter will stay with me for a while as will my other-half's weeping.
Not a good week then. Sleep deprived, a shitty cold and guilt building like a giant ant-hill.